Fuck off!...er... I mean "Thanks"!

I just wanted to send out a special thank you to my good friend who went out of the way to let me know (via voicemail, no less) that he didn't feel appreciated enough for all his hard work helping me move. As a little thank you, I posted this picture below for him to enjoy. Just a nice little way of saying "thanks for ribbing me incessantly while moving". Here is a nice pic of your favorite actress. This one is for you, Morgs. Enjoy!

I'm "manstrating"

It seems like once a month I feel like a real bitch. I'm in a bad mood, people irritate me, and I just become very irrational. Now I know what it is like to be a typical woman (zing!). Seriously though, some days I wake up and I am just right pissed off at the world for no particular reason. I didn't have any bad dreams or lack of sleep last night, so why do I feel like a walking asshole (without that "unfresh" smell, thank you very much) today? Then of course, ye olde girlfriend de "ex" walks into the office here; this day grows more joyous with each passing moment it seems! Anyway, this "man PMS" really sucks. I need to think happy thoughts. I also hope my psuedo-girlfriend desides to dump that peice of shit dude she calls a "boyfriend". Boyfriend doesn't strike me as the right word for that guy. "Super Tool" would be a more acurate description of that bungholio. Or perhaps the reason I am feeling bad is because I'm not sure who is the bigger tool in this grand scheme I call a "relationship"; me or him. The plot thickens, my friends ("plot" is the name of my penis).

Now get the hell out of here, you're pissing me off.

I can't find my pants.

Seriously. Let's go back in time for a moment, shall we? I moved this weekend. Everything went smoothly, with the exception being that the gaylien cable company couldn't hook up the cable on Saturday since the leasing company office was closed. No TV or internet for the entire weekend!? My world will surely collapse! Well, I got through it. So with the help of my friends & family, I'm all settled in. Today I was looking for some pants to wear to work (yes, pants are required here) and I find that they are missing. I'm thinking now that I left them at the old place. Needless to say (though I'll say it right now), that blows the proverbial goat. I have 2 options: 1. Buy some new pants or 2. Wear the surviving pair of pants for the rest of my earthbound life. I'm leaning toward option one (but that is because one of my legs is shorter than the other). So if you would like to donate some cash to the "Pants Enrichment for Needy Individual Studs (P.E.N.I.S.)" campaign, please feel free to email me and we'll get something setup. Thank you and God bless. And may the force be with you and all that...

MP3's @ Work

I heard a news report yesterday saying that at some places of business, listening to an MP3 player at work helped with productivity. They said "iPod" specifically, but guess what news hipsters, iPod isn't the only MP3 player out there. I am here to agree with that story and say that is the only way I get any work done 'round here! But I just recently got on the MP3 player bandwagon. I used to just strap on the headphones and listen to MP3's on my computer. No more will I be a simple music plebian! Now with the MP3 player, I can just roam around the office and be in listening bliss the whole time, looking like a gay Apple iPod commercial the whole time!

My weapon of choice is pictured above, the Creative Zen Micro (I got the white color). What is cool about this little device (and what sets it apart from the iPod Mini) is that it has 5 Gigs of space and also includes an FM radio. You can also download files off of your computer and use it as a portable hard drive. Lets be honest, the real reason I got it is because it glows BLUE man! BLUE! If you are looking for an alternative to the iPod (it's about the same price of an iPod, but it has more features and a bigger hard drive), this is it. I demand you buy one, even if you can't afford it. Even if your house is re-possessed by the bank because of it. Being homeless sucks. But being homeless while listening to MP3's makes life A-Ok!

Valentine's Day Sucks

But it is not because I don't have a girlfiend. And it's not because I don't like the holiday (if you can call it that). The reason it sucks is that for some inexplicable reason, something always goes terribly wrong and the night ends up really shitty. So to avoid this problem this year, I took it upon myself to move Valentine's to a few days before the acutal event. The result? Well, it worked! I had a great day.

Everything is all well and good (I hear a big "but" comming) BUT (see told ya) then Valentine's day rolls around. Lo and behold! The proverbial shit hits the literal fan. Here I am, days later, still feeling the effects of the fight my girl and I had. So Valentine's Day can just fuck right off! But, uh, hopefully yours was a good one :)

Sex in Old School Video Games?

I found this site today and I found it amusing and you will too I am sure of it. Unless you are a retard. Not that I am discriminatory against retarded people or anything, I just am unsure whether or not a person that is under said retarded persuasion would find this particular website to be a comedy pot-o-gold.